Lazy Bear part 4

Sunday: I woke up Sunday just before noon... again. Walked into town and ran across Ryan the super hot Latin boy from Friday night, and ate breakfast with him. Jason found me and we got ready for the big blowout goodbye pool party. It was at this private estate with an Olympic size swimming pool and tennis courts and a yard big enough to contain the several hundred guys that showed up. It was a super-duper kick-ass pool party to end all pool parties. So much fun!!! I flirted wildly and said hi to everyone. It was like being in heaven. There was this porn star named Tober Brandt promoting something at one of the pool parties.. and I was droolin over him. I mean he is HOT!!! And then Jason dropped what will become the best line of the year when he noticed me checking out Tober. He said: "Yeah, the magic kinda dies when you've already had both your hands in him". I died, right there... in that moment, I died.


So Tober was at this pool party and we hung out with him a bit, I think at one point he threw Jason in the pool (then again, so did I). I got a little drunk at that pool party (I didn't drink that much over the weekend) and had a giggly good 'ol time. A lot of my friends and the new friends that I made that weekend were there so I was a total little butterfly!!! I cant stress enough how much fun the whole weekend was. I keep tying to express it, but it seems the words just don't show the feeling behind it. Lets put it this way: if I had died at the end of the weekend... I would have died happy and satisfied.

After the pool party ended Jason and I went to the Roadhouse Inn for dinner. I had one of the most amazing steaks ever!! Thanks Jason's mom and dad. Wouldn't want to be him when they get THAT bill!! Then Jason and I went back to the tent to chill for a little bit. We met this new group of guys while we were there, just hanging out at their tent. A couple of them were total grade a hotties and so Jason and I flirted. When it got a little later Jason went off to find Michael and Marco with the stipulation that we would meet up later. I stayed and kept hanging out with the boys. Danny (one of the boys) was a cute little latin boy with a lot of energy and I was instantly attracted to him. We chatted with the group for a while then went to my tent to cuddle (honestly!!!). While we were cuddling and chatting his friends decided to go eat. They then yelled out as they were leaving "You guys can have the tent now if you want to get it on!"


Klassy... with a capital K! Danny and I both giggled... then ran over into that tent. What?? It had an air mattress!!! I wont go into any grizzly details, cuz my mom reads this, but let me just say this. That little guy.... WORE ME THE HELL OUT!!!! I mean, yeah we went at it for a couple hours, and at one point Jason came looking for me, and I screamed out "I'll meet you at the dance". But how exactly I came to be in the condition I was in at the end of the escapade eludes me. After, we went and took a shower together... and this is the cutest thing... he stood under one shower head while I took the one next to it, same shower heads same height... mine, came to my nipples.... his... about six inches over his head. I had to bend over to get "under" the shower head. I told you he was a cute little thing!!!

So he and I get dressed and walk into town. We go to the big farewell dance to look for his friends and Jason. As soon as I walked in, I was ready to go. If you have ever been in a confined space with 500 sweaty heavy breathing men, you know what I am talking about. It was sooooo hot, and it soon became apparent to both of us that we were never going to find our friends in there. So we walked out and went down to the other bars to see if by some chance our friends were there... he found his. I never found Jason. In fact, I didn't see him for the rest of the weekend.


So Danny and his friend had to leave because they both worked in the morning. So we kissed goodbye and exchanged info and then he was off. I was still looking for Jason so I braved the weather and went back into the big dance. It was not going to happen for me that night, there was no way I was going to be in that heat in my weakened condition. So I ran around the dance floor looking for Jason. I ran around the main floor looking for Jason. I ran around the upstairs lounges looking for Jason. As you already know, I didn't find him. But I did find a bunch of the other hot guys that I had been hanging out with over the weekend. I went outside, hung out with the cute straight doorman for a little while. Made out with Ryan a little. Then headed back to the tent to crash. Seriously worn out... That sexcapade with Danny was one of the BEST!!! Maybe it was the E... I don't know.

Monday: I woke Monday morning to a tug on my foot. It was my Mark, Drew's (my food neighbor's) boyfriend. He was waking me up at 10:30 to ask if I wanted breakfast. Let me tell you... if they weren't a monogamous couple!!!!! Drew made Huevos Rancheros for breakfast and it was soooooooooooo good. We ate, then we all started taking our tents down and began the long arduous process of packing up and leaving. I didn't want to leave.

By the way, I should tell you about my tent. The night I got there it worked great, but over the next couple days the door zipper became more and more of a challenge until finally (sometime Saturday) it stopped working altogether. So for most of the weekend I was sleeping with my door wide open. At a normal camp site this wouldn't be a problem. But at a gay campsite with hundreds of horny men... it can turn into quite a big problem. Luckily when I set my tent up the school teacher made sure I turned the door away from the foot path. Had he not told me to do that I would have had a LOT more visitors. So when I took the tent down... it went directly into the trash can. I couldn't deal. Plus I wasn't going to haul around a busted crappy tent!


After all that I went up to the main house to check out. The same guy was there... and I asked him if he ever found my reservation. He shook his head no as I pulled out my wallet. I said, "oh well, what do I owe you?". He looked at me with this quizzical look and kinda smiled. I wasn't sure what he was smiling at so I handed him my credit card. He smiled a little bigger, waved away my card and said "Don't worry about it. Just come back to us next year, ok?" Seriously!!!! SWEET!!!! I got a free stay that would have cost me around $150. Yeah, that pretty much tells you how the whole weekend was.

So for the rest of the day I walked around a mostly abandoned town. Did a little shopping. Had a nice lunch. Ran into an old friend Diego and hung out with him for a little while. Honestly, by Monday I was so exhausted I wasn't up for much of anything. So I finally climbed into my fancy jeep and began the hour and a half drive home. I threw in some James Taylor for the drive. Didn't even mind being stuck behind slow stupid people on the freeway. It was the laziest lackadaisical day. And I was so worn out with happiness that all I could do was drive and smile.

Lazy Bear part 3

Saturday: I woke up Saturday, as usual, too late for breakfast. As I was walking down the main strip I heard someone call out my name... it was Jason (Derek Hanson), Michael Brandon and his boyfriend Marco and this lesbian they just met named Shannon. So I sat and ate with them. Shannon was actually in Santa Rosa for business and she had just decided to drive up to the river for some R&R. Little did she know. She actually hung out with them for most of the weekend! So the five of us strolled on over to the pool parties.


Jason and I tooled around flirting all day with everyone. We went to all four pool parties, Jason ran through the sprinklers playing red rover. Then we walked around the town and went to all the bars and then watched the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence do their very own special Bingo. I went back to camp to rest before the big party night. My neighbors made this amazing barb-q chicken sandwich that was so divine they made me another one to take home. Then I just kinda relaxed, sat on the dock, and took a nap.


That night Jason and I were all over the place. We went everywhere, including dinner with Micheal, Marco and Shannon. Micheal is such a sweetheart I totally get him as a kindred spirit. Then were were off to the pub crawl. In case you didn't know, Guernville has about seven different gay bars. Yeah... it is a total gay resort town! So Jason and I were literally in every bar for a while, we went to the bonfire for a while. We ended up at the Rainbow Cattle Company at the end of the night and met these guys from LA. They had come up to have a weekend in the country without knowing that it was Lazy Bear weekend. They stuck out a little too... I mean, the pretty boy Castro jock types don't really look right in the bear community. But we made them feel welcome, Jason shamelessly flirting with every one of them and them flirting back.


The whole gaggle of us then walked over to the triple r for some karaoke, but luckily they had just ended for the night. That is when the bars closed and Jason drove them home and I walked back to the camp ground. When I got there I ran into my friend Gabriel who is just cute as a button. He invited me to come over and hang out with his friends. We then started an impromptu campfire of our own. It was really cool because all the guys coming from the bars stopped by to hang for a little while. When I finally hit the sack I swear I could see the beginning of sunrise. But it was so worth it.

Lazy Bear part 2

Friday: Woke up at noon. God I do so love my sleep. Too late to have breakfast with my neighbors, but they make sure and let me know what time lunch is. So I wander on down to the dock and have my morning Mt. Dew while watching the trees and the bears swimming in the river. I walk around the camp (mind you, there were over 500 people camping on what essentially is the size of Duboce Park) meeting new people smiling at all the cute boys. It was so much fun. I went to the office to check in, but the guy couldn't find my reservation. I was like, crap, but I already set up my tent! He looked around a little more, but a line started forming behind me. So, he told me to come back the next day and he would look for my reservation. So I said I would and left to do some more wandering.


I considered going to all the pool parties that day, but decided against it. Instead I took my fantastic car and drove all the way to the top of Armstrong woods. It is an amazing view. Nothing compared to Mt. Diablo in Walnut Creek (second largest panoramic view in the world after Mt. Fuji), but still an amazing sight. Nothing but verdant green rolling hills covered with every kind of tree you can imagine. And the drive up is just so beautiful.


After the drive in that sweltering heat, I went back to the campground and ran right into the river. Had a great swim and chatted with the guys on the dock than went and showered and dressed. At the triple r there was an Underbear party (where people are invited to walk around in nothing but their underwear). It was so much fun... and yeah, there were a lot of guys that should have been wearing nothing but underwear. I ran into Yann and David from the Gay Mens Chorus and hung out with them. When I first walked in I literally ran directly into the Bare Chest Calendar men who were there promoting their 2007 calendar.


Well the one I ran into was named Jon and Jesus, he was soooooo hot! I backed up and said "oh excuse me", and this big grin flashed over his face and that was really it for me. He invited me to hang out with him and the other Bare Chest guys and we all had a blast. I walked around while they were hawking their wares and flirted shamelessly. I actually grew a set of balls just for the weekend. I did myself proud and actually spoke to most of the guys I was attracted to this weekend. Jon being one of them.


So we all left the Underbear party and went to club Fab where the Bare Chest guys were supposed to be go-go dancing. I danced and laughed and had a great time. I went out front for a smoke and as I was walking out the door this painfully hot latin muscle guy was walking in. He stopped right in front of me and got this animal look on his face as he smiled and growled at me. I smiled at him and he asked where I was going. "Out to smoke" I said. "I'm gonna come with you then" was his response. HELL YEAH!!!! Yeah, he was that hot. I went back into the club with him and made out with him... and did something naughty!!!! He and I hung out off and on all weekend!!!

Lazy Bear part 1

For those of you that read my blog and don't know what Lazy Bear is... I will give you a brief history. Every first weekend of August for the last 12 years the "Bear" community descends on the tiny little town of Guernville (aka: The Russian River). To give you an idea of the magnitude of this event all you need do is look at the population. Normally the population of Guernville is just over 1000 people, on lazy bear weekend the population jumps to over 6000. Yeah... it's that big.

For those of you who don't know what I mean when I say "Bear Community" I will explain that too. Because the gay community is so sexualized (ie. separated from the rest of the world because of the type of sex we have) the gay community has spent a lot of time labeling and separating themselves from each other, you have twinks, jocks, straight acting, queeny, drag queens, alternative guys, muscle queens, rice queens, dirty hot guys, etc... seriously... then there are all the guys that don't fit into any of those categories and the guys that are attracted to them.

A lot of these guys fit into what we call the "Bear" community. And even in the bear community we have separation: muscle bears, hairy guys, chubs, chasers, cubs, otters, wolves, super-chubs, admirers... and so on. In my experience, the bear community tends to be much more relaxed and friendly than the rest of the gay community. Based on the fact that they are clear that they are not everyone's type and so they typically don't make a move on you unless you show some interest.

This year was my third time going to Lazy Bear and it was the best one so far. My god. I could have died at the end of the weekend and it still would have been worth it!!! So now I will give you a recap of each day... and every sordid detail. Don't worry mom, you can still read it.



Thursday: I had planned on leaving Thursday morning at 10:00am, driving up early, getting set up and everything before the weekend rush... I got to the rental car place at about 10:15. Yeah, I know... totally not a morning person... There is a line. Of course. Not only is there a line... but it is not moving. At all. Dammit! So I wait. I get to the counter at about 10:45 and give them my reservation. I did this weird thing online with the car company. I couldn't spend a lot of money, but I knew I wouldn't fit in a compact or economy car. I had to get something midsize or larger. So in between economy and midsize they had this thing called wildcard. The price was right and they guaranteed a midsize or larger.

So they take their damn sweet time and I am just waiting... finally they call me back up to the counter. By this time it is already noon so I am starting to get peeved. Then she gives me the good news. I got a 2007 extended black jeep wrangler. Sweet!!! So I get the car... run home and finish packing. I get on the road at 3pm and have a nice relaxing drive up to the river.

I get there and set up my tent. The office is closed when I get there so I figure I will check-in in the morning. There is this nice HOT school teacher that helps me set up my tent and there is this cute couple camping next to me that brought the kitchen sink and invited me to all their meals. Sweet!!! The last two times I went up I went with friends and spent most of my time with them. So this time I went alone and camped alone so that I would be forced to meet new people.

I went into town and got my beartag, and yeah it came with some wild flirting. I then walked around the town and stopped by the pool parties. I hung out on the dock at the willows. That night I went out to the local gay bars the Rainbow Cattle Company, Yamagata, and then to the bonfire... had a lot of fun at all three. At the bonfire I met this hot guy named Marcus. We hit it off really well... and after a lot of touchy feely and flirting at the bonfire... he came back to my tent and we totally made out!!! So much fun!!! After he went back to his hotel I walked around the camp. Met some cool people and played a really funny guessing game. Then hung out on the dock in the middle of the night with a bunch of guys that were getting stoned and laughing. It was beautiful watching the fog roll over the hill and across the river with the two bridges under lit. It was right out of a scary movie!!!

Some Random Wednesday

I cant sleep very late when there is someone else in my bed.

Last night as I was getting comfortable in my room, the door buzzed. I wasn't expecting anyone but I looked out the window to see who was there... It was Mark!! He just surprised me by showing up at my door. I love when he does that! We settled in for the night, watched a few cartoons (Drawn Together is just plain crazy), watched a couple episodes of Planet Earth, talked a bit, laughed a bit and then passed out... I love those nights with friends that are just pure utter relaxation.

So this morning I was pretty sure that Mark was going to do the usual... breakfast and then head out. I talked him into going over to North Beach for breakfast at "Mama's" He had some decadent breakfast thing and I had a burger. After breakfast we started talking about leaving the city, maybe he and I going on a road trip somewhere. Of course he works, his dad is in the hospital... so he isn't going to be able to go anywhere anytime soon.

So we decided to go to the mall... ugh, so New Jersey... and do a little window shopping. On the way there was my chance to put my silver tounge to work and get him to hang out with me all day. A thought came to me... Boardwalk. The Santa Cruz beach boardwalk to be more specific. I sold it to him like only I know how to do... I don't remember exactly what I said, but I know I did mention the hundreds of shirtless boys on summer break. So we stopped by my house, got him a pair of shorts and we were on our way by one in the afternoon.

The drive down there is beautiful, rolling hills covered with every type of tree there is. Glimpses of crystal mountain lakes between the trees. It was the weirdest day... When we woke up at ten it was foggy and overcast... but warm. When we finished lunch it was sunny and hot... Halfway to Santa Cruz it looked like this... clouds, rain, dark... yet warm.


We came up on a hiway sign that said the next off-ramp was Winchester Drive. Mark said he needed to pull off to get gas... I said, as long as we are pulling off, why dont we go see the Winchester Mansion! It is something I have been wanting to see ever since I heard of it right after moving here seven years ago. So we pull into the first gas station we come to and I went inside to ask how to find the Mystery Mansion. The guy behind the counter said take this road that you are on for another two miles and it will be on the left hand side of the road.


This mansion is one of the grandest, most opulent, and freaky buildings I have ever been in. First, if you ever do go see it... take the paid tour. It is $23 but totaly worth it. The history that comes along with this mansion is one of those stories that may never die. This woman, the widow of the Winchester millions was thirteen kinds of crazy. And all the employees know all the crazy shit she pulled! She would eavesdrop on the servents and if they looked up to see if she was there she would fire them on the spot. Plus almost everything in the house has thirteen of something... that was her favorite number and she made the builders put it everywhere.



Yeah... she believed that she was being haunted by the ghosts of all the people killed by the winchester rifle. And like any sane person, she sought the advice of some sort of old west psychic. This psychic (who had regular seaonces in the house, in a hidden room) told the widow that in order to silence the voices of those ghosts she would have to keep building and adding to the eight room farmhouse every hour of every day for the rest of her life. She lived to be 82. The eight room farmhouse became a one hundred and sixty room mansion for the unstable. Doors that opened onto walls, windows in the floor, and staircases that went nowhere but to the celing. And it was never finished... parts are still under construction... parts will never be finished. Then there are the grounds, the gardens, and the behind-the-scenes tour...



The angles of this mansion are all out of whack. You have to see it.



After we left the house of oddity.. we drove the rest of the way to Santa Cruz. If you have ever seen the movie "The Lost Boys" then you know what Santa Cruz is like. It is a total beach bum kinda place with an amusement park serving as the jewel of the town. It is a little bit surreal, like stepping back into your childhood for a moment. You cant help but have fun, play the games and waste your money on temporary happiness. Mark and I had a lot of fun. Played a lot of games and even rode a couple rides... and then reality had to rear it's ugly head. Stupid body. I couldnt fit on one of the rides. Couldnt get the buckle clipped and had to walk away while Mark rode it without me...hmmm...sigh.



When we got to Santa Cruz I ran directly into a friend of mine that apparently had moved to Santa Cruz two weeks ago. Weird timing. Todd walked around with us for a while and then went off to play volleyball. When Mark and I had had our fill of the rides and kids on the boardwalk, we wandered over to where Todd and a bunch of gay guys had taked over the volleyball nets. It was a cool experience, about thirty gay guys that just wanted to hang out at the beach... weekly. Mark kicked off his shoes for a couple games, and I enjoyed watching the hot shirtless gay guys bouncing with their balls.


Come on... I had to put one sex reference in there... I would lose my gay male audience if I didnt!!!


So all in all Mark and I had our little road trip and got away from the city. We had some much needed mindless fun. And all on some ramdom Wendesday.

Beautiful Boys #02

This is my beautiful boy Tristan

some long lost friends stopped by for a day...

Michael Toliver Lives. He sure fucking does!

The very first time I can remember seeing a gay person on tv in a positive light was when I first watched the miniseries "Tales of the City". The two sequels were just as important to me... and then there were the books. I went into a crown bookstore deep behind the orange curtain of Republican/Christian ideals and proudly bought the books... wondering all the time if they knew what I was buying and what it meant about me.

Armistead Maupin has created a real work of art with his Tales of the City series. The latest book, picking up literally 18 years after the last one, may possibly be the masterstroke that keeps Maupin at the fore front of gay literature for years to come. All these books introduced at least one new character per book... so now all the originals are dying off and fading away in glory... while leaving this rich tapestry of sub-characters that you just don't want to see to go. So Maupin has set himself up to have another fifty books from these people.

Today I read it... yeah, the whole book. I couldn't put it down. When it comes to the people he writes about... you just cant hear enough. It's like running into a really good old friend and him telling you what the old gang is up to... It just gives you that rush of humor, joy and nostalgia all at once. That is what it is like going back to 28 Barbary Lane. This book was a perfect combination of wittiness, humor, tragedy and poetry.

"Some years back, when I was still single, the charm of the city was wearing thin for me. All those imperial dot-commers in their SUV's and Hummers barreling down the middle of Noe St. as if leading an assault on a third world nation. And those freshly minted queens down at Badlands, wreathed in cigarette smoke and attitude, who seemed to believe that political activism meant a subscription to OUT magazine and regular attendance at Queer As Folk night."

Ok... this is kinda coincidental... I just wrote a blog like this... about what I call "Baby-Gays". Naturally anyone that agrees with me I am going to remember their point of view. And use it to further my own!!!

" I wasn't feeling guilty. What I felt was the depletion of my memory bank, a hunger for more memories to hoard. I like remembering Mona... the Mona that stays with me is the late seventies model: loose-limbed and free as a sailor, with coils of lava-red hair radiating from her head. I can even remember the telltale sound of her footsteps (both the manic and depressive varieties) on the boardwalk at Barbary Lane. Mona had a full seven years on me back then, so I'd felt like her little brother. Now that I've passed the age she was when she died it's deeply unnerving to realize that she's becoming my little sister.

The same is true of Jon, my first partner - only more so, of course, since he's now been gone for - Jesus! - almost a quarter of a century. How impossibly young we were then. Jon was a gynecologist (I know, I know) and a lovely guy inside and out, if a little buttoned-down around the edges. Had he not died but simply moved to a distant city, I wonder if we'd recognize each other today were our paths to cross at a B&B in P-town, say, or an RSVP cruise to someplace warm and homophobic. Would there still be something he could love - that I could love, for that matter - or would we just swap email addresses and walk away, preferring to remember the old version of ourselves?

The young version, that is.
The only version I have left of him."

Maupin has a talent for writing in a way that when you read his work it feels like you are reading a letter from a friend. All these people that I have loved for so many years... I finally get to hear the end of their story. And they are joyous, and heartbreaking... and while your favorite of them may not have died in a grand sweeping journey or ended up quite the way you though... they still feel like your friends.

It still feels like these are real people and that is what happens to real people... they go on to live their lives. Not everything is story worthy, not everything goes into building a plot, and you don't end up where you thought you would with anyone... ever. Still they were your friends, and your family and they are still the people that you want to be there at the very end.

Thanks Armistead... You gave us an amazing journey, and friends so real I will miss them forever... Now, time to start a new one with all of our old friends new friends.

Beautiful Boys #01

I am somewhat of a novice photographer... Following is the first in a series of beautiful boys that have posed for me. I promised not to publish any risque photo's of them... but I think these photo's are great... and that they wouldnt mind.

Let me know what you think...

Mark

Daddy... is this what heaven is like??

My sweet darling Mark.

Mark is one of my best friends. He is having some problems right now... mostly with his family.

A couple weeks ago Mark's dad was in a car crash. Both his arms and legs are broken... broken ribs... practically in a full body cast. To make matters worse he is confined to a hospital bed in Sacramento... nowhere near where Mark and his family live.

This is he and I last halloween. What is a witch without her
naughty flying monkey?? Let me tell you, by the end of the
night... I think I had a little monkey crush!!

So I just want to put this post up so that any of you that actually read my blog can send some good vibes his way. His family is being pulled in every direction and he is just barely hanging on.

I love this kid... a lot... and it hurts to see him going through what he is going through.

So send him some love.

Tell me that face is not one of the most beautiful faces
on Earth!! Don't you just want to pinch his cheeks!!!