Getting on the...

“Shortbus”, I’ve watched it about 12 times now. I can’t get enough of it.

John Cameron Mitchell is an absolute genius when it comes to filmmaking. This movie is one of the most real and honest movies I have ever had the pleasure to watch. What? Never heard of it/him? Oh but you do know who Mitchell is, he is Hedwig of the Angry Inch variety. “Shortbus” is his writing/directing follow up movie. You may not have heard of this movie due to its content; it got a very limited release.

It is the fairy tale snapshot of a bunch of New Yorkers making their way through life. From the sex therapist that can’t have an orgasm to the good looking gay guy that has everything and still can’t pull his head out of his depression. It is a refreshingly honest take on sexuality, desperation and human nature. The actors are all real people that have never been in movies before, and together with Mitchell they created and developed their characters.

The sex scenes are intense, but not more intense than the scene where the therapist covertly tells her husband that she has never once had an orgasm in the guise of “her client said…”. Another intense scene is when one of the characters tries to commit suicide. I have never seen such a clear cut photograph of what it feels like to be so depressed that death seems like the only option. But don’t misunderstand; this is not in any way, a depressing movie.

It is full of beautiful imagery and music that eventually becomes a character in and of itself. Together, some amazing animation that makes New York look like a magical place again and a script that blends a perfect balance of the absurd and insightful, this movie will affect every person who watches it differently. The script is painful and awkward and profound:

“New Yorkers are permeable, you know what I mean? Therefore we’re sane, consequently we’re the target of the impermeable and the insane. And of course, New York is where everyone comes to be forgiven. What have you done wrong? Tell me, how have you sinned? I’m sure it’s nothing serious.”

“How would you know?”

“Well, I’m sure you did your best. Imagine if you grew up here like I did. Home, can be very unforgiving. It’s true. People said, I didn’t do enough to prevent the AIDS crisis because I was in the closet. That’s not true. I did the best I could. I was… I was scared, and impermeable. Everybody knew so little then. I know even less now.”

The main thought running through this movie is that even though we all have different kinds of sex we are all human beings and we all have problems. This movie looks at sex like a character. The actors are having sex in the movie, real uninhibited passionate sex. So if erect penises and penetration makes you nervous, I would still recommend this movie. Simply because it is not biased to a specific type of sex and the preconceived roles are not what is important. What is important is the connection that people make.

The underrated outcome of sex is that it concentrates you on the person you are with. It brings you fully into the moment. During sex there is nothing but you and your partner in consistent moments of concentration and intimacy. Looking at sex this way, in stead of as something taboo or disgusting because it is not what you like, helps us evolve together into more accepting people. The outlying specifics of who is in what kind of relationships are not important, in that each person has to go on their own sexual journey. We as a society have made this open sexuality taboo and forbidden. This movie asserts that it is not important what kind of sex you have but that you have sex; hot, unbridled, passionate, sex.

A question that has been posed is: Why couldn’t they have done this movie without the explicit sex? This is a viable question to ask, but more difficult to answer. To tell a compelling story about sexuality and intimacy and what we each go through, you couldn’t be afraid of the sex. All you could do is make it real, make it true, and do it with dignity. We human beings are at a place in time where we have spent so much time talking about what is right and wrong and who is right and wrong for doing whatever it is that they do and you don’t, that we have neglected to simply love each other.

Watch this movie. It may make you uneasy. It may arouse you. It may make you see sexuality in a different way. It may make your fear and unease of those who have different kinds of sex abate a bit. But I promise you one thing, it will, without a doubt make you think. Sex is and can be the most joyous thing we ever get to experience. And as we come to a conclusion we are left with a song whose words are important for every one of us.

We all bear the scars

Yes we all fade alive

We all sigh in the dark

Get cut off before we start

And as the first act begins

You realize there always is

For a fall, for a flaw, for the end

There’s a past stained with tears

Could you talk to quiet my fears

Could you pull me aside

Just to acknowledge that I tried

And as your last breath begins

Contently take it in

‘Cuz we all get it in the end

And as your last breath begins

You find your demons’ your best friend

And we all get it in the end

Yes we all get it in the end

Who's on.... line?

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

(For all you techies that read my blog... yeah, this is
basically how I feel about computers)

We’ve Always Done It That Way…

This story is incredible, so take a few minutes for the read, and then sit back and ponder the situation. Does the statement “We’ve always done it that way” ring any bells? In the United States the standard railroad measurement (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number, so why was that measurement used?

Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad roads, and that’s the measurement they used. Why did “they” use that measurement then? Because the people who built the roads used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that very wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legionnaires; the roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. So the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches was derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horses ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Now the ironic twist to the story…

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. They are Solid Rocket Boosters, or SRB’s. The SRB’s are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRB would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB’s had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRB’s had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the worlds most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horses ass! And you though being a horses’ ass wasn’t important.

For those of you that hear “because that’s the way we do it” at your jobs… Welcome to Corporate America, where not much has changed in two thousand years.

The Real Twelve days of Christmas:

December 14^th:

Dearest John,

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t’ have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes

December 15^th:

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes

December 16^th:

Dear John,

Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don’t deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist… you’re just too kind.

December 17^th:

Dear John,

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don’t you think enough is enough? You’re being too romantic.

Affectionately Agnes

December 18^th:

Dearest John,

What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You’re just impossible, but I love it. Frankly John all those squawking birds were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes

December 19^th:

Dear John,

When I opened the door there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you’re back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can’t sleep through the racket. Please stop!

Cordially, Agnes

December 20^th:

John,

What’s with you and those fucking birds??? Seven swans’ a-swimming. What kind of goddam joke is this? There’s bird shit all over the house and they never stop the racket. I’m a nervous wreck and I can’t sleep all night. It’s not funny! So stop with those fucking birds.

Sincerely, Agnes

December 21^st:

Ok Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a-milking? It’s not enough with all those birds and eight maids’ a-milking, but they had to bring their own goddam cows. There is shit all over the lawn and I can’t move in my own house. Just lay off me. Smart ass.

Ag

December 22^nd:

Hey Shithead,

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there are nine pipers playing. And Christ, do they play. They never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are upset and are stepping all over those screeching birds. No wonder they screech. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. You’ll get yours.

From Ag

December 23^rd:

You Rotten Prick,

Now there’s ten ladies dancing – I don’t know why I call those sluts ladies. They’ve been balling those nine pipers all night long. Now the cows can’t sleep and they’ve got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn’t be condemned. I’m sicking the police on you.

One who means it, Ag

December 24^th:

Listen fuckhead,

What’s with the eleven lords a-leaping on those maids and aforementioned “ladies”? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All 234 of the birds are dead. They have been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you’re satisfied, you rotten swine.

Your sworn enemy, Miss Agnes McCallister

December 25^th:

From the law offices of Taeker, Spredar, and Baegar

Dear Sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling, which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McCallister. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McCallister at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find a warrant for your arrest.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Tuesday in Iran

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said that there are no homosexuals in Iran.

He can say this because he knows that homosexuals are hunted down and killed in his country.

These two boys are 16 and 18 years old. They were found guilty by their “legal system” of homosexuality. They were then put to death.

Iran has put to death over 4000 gays in the last twenty five years. And they are not alone. This is a list of every country where homosexuality is a crime punishable by death:

Afghanistan; Algeria Angola; Armenia; Bahrain; Bangladesh; Barbados; Benin; Bhutan; Bosnia & Herzegovina; Botswana; Brunei; Burma (Myanmar); Burundi; Cameroon; Cape Verde Cook Islands; Djibouti; Ethiopia; Egypt; Fiji; French Polynesia (Tahiti); Georgia; Ghana; Grenada; Guyana; India; Iran; Jamaica; Kenya; Kiribati; Kuwait; Lebanon; Liberia; Libya; Malawi; Malaysia; Maldives; Mali; Marshall Islands; Mauritania; Mauritius; Moldavia; Morocco; Mozambique; Namibia; Nauru; Nepal; Nicaragua; Nigeria; Niue; Oman; Pakistan; Papua New Guinea; Puerto Rico; Qatar; Saint Lucia; Samoa; Saudi Arabia; Senegal; Seychelles; Sierra Leone; Singapore; Solomon Islands; Somalia; Sri Lanka; Sudan; Swaziland; Syria; Tajikistan; Tanzania; Togo; Tokelau; Tonga; Trinidad & Tobago; Tunisia; Tuvalu; Uganda; United Arab Emirates; Uzbekistan; Yemen; Zambia; Zimbabwe

These pictures make me sick. These pictures make me cry. These pictures make me angry. In my lifetime this kind of thing has happened. In this global economy, we do business with countries who find no moral dilemma in hunting down and murdering gay people, as if it were sport.

How have we allowed these kinds of things to go on unpunished?

Will anything change? This community of mine has become distracted. We have been sold the bag of pretty shiny things. We waste ourselves on entertainment and gossip and the look. These boys made love, like we do so casually, and it was the last moment of love they ever knew.

And yet, nothing happened. No charge from the religious right. Not worth getting into a big fight if they’re just killing their own gays. No sanctions from the United States Government. How they manage their own gay issue is none of our concern. From the rest of America: Who, what happened?

And the Gay community, what do we do? Upon learning that the murder of homosexuals is something that a whole nation gets together to do, while they revel in the streets of many many nations that are considered our allies? Well the Gay Community gets right up and………

If Airlines Sold Paint

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?

Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on
quite a lot of things.

Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is
there an average price?

Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon,
and we have 60 different prices up to $200
a gallon.

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's
all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that
$12 paint.

Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my
day off.

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the
$200 paint.

Customer: When would I have to paint to get
the $12 paint?

Clerk: You would have to start very late at
night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to
agree to start painting before Friday of that
week and continue painting until at least
Sunday. You must paint on a Saturday night.

Customer: You've got to be *&%#@* kidding!

Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint
available.

Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I
can see it!

Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint
available. We sell only a certain number of
gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the
way,the price per gallon just went to $16.
We don't have any more $12 paint.

Customer: The price went up as we were talking?

Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules
hundreds of times a day, and since you haven't
actually walked out of the store with your paint
yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you
purchase your paint as soon as possible. How
many gallons do you want?

Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that
six, so I'll have enough.

Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you
buy paint and don't use it, there are penalties
and possible confiscation of the paint you already
have.

Customer: WHAT?

Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen,
bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop
painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose
your remaining gallons of paint.

Customer: What does it matter whether I use all
the paint? I already paid you for it!

Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all
our paint is used, every drop. If you don't, it causes
us all sorts of problems.

Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible
happens if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!

Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically
becomes the $200 paint.

Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale
from $10 a liter" signs?

Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only
comes in half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do
half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the
room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty
and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.

Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need
somewhere else!

Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to
buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your
kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you
won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway
from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir,
that if you paint in only one direction, it will
be $300 a gallon.

Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!

Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the
point at which youstarted. A hallway is different.

Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but
only paint in onedirection, you'll confiscate the
remaining paint.

Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus
the difference on your next gallon of paint. But I
believe you're getting it now, sir.

Customer: You're insane!

Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.

Exercises in Folding and Stowage 2

Exercise 2: The Super-pack

Having learned new and interesting ways to fold clothes and save space I naturally started packing that way too. And I got really good at it… I have had friends ask me to come over to their house to help them pack because of what I can fit into a carry-on suitcase.

Here, I will show you… Last month my friend Gary came to visit. Like always happens when he visits I made him buy an entirely new wardrobe. I hate shopping for myself but I’ll tell you, I got a talent for helping other people pick out the hottest clothes.

So when Gary left I had to pack his bag for him. One standard sized carry-on bag, this is what I was able to fit into it:

15 shirts (both t-shirt and button down)
7 pairs of underwear
7 pairs of jeans
5 pairs of socks
4 Tank Tops
3 pairs of shoes
2 Belts
1 Toilet Bag
1 Electric Razor

Here is how to do it...

Step 1: First put in the shoes. Heel to toe across one side of the suitcase.


Step 2: Using the shirt fold I already taught you, put as many shirts as you can fit between the shoes and the other side of the suitcase. You will be able to stack two levels of shirts this way.


Step 3: Roll up the pants as shown below and lay them over the shoes. Like the shirts, you will be making two stacks of pants. Fold your underwear into squares and put them in the gap between your shirts and the wall of the suitcase.


Step 4: When you have all shirts, pants, underwear and shoes in the suitcase roll up your belts. Sometimes it helps to put a rubberband around them. Lay them on top of your underwear.


Step 5: My recommendation to you is to find a decent sized toiletries bag like this one. You don't need to take your entire bathroom with you every time you travel. My rule of thumb is to take the essentials: toothbrush, hair product, toothpaste, condoms and some little lube packets maybe, and whatever medication you may need. Things like shampoo, toothpaste and what not you can get when you get to wherever.

Lay the bag on top of your shirts. Socks go into the shoe pockets on the lid of the suitcase, and tank tops get folded into squares and put in the top zipper on the lid. This is also a good place to put any extra shirts like you see in the picture.


Step 6: Zip bag. As you can see the extendable zipper is still zipped so you should have no problem carrying this onto the plane. If you have loose small stuff than you can either put them into the outside compartment of the suitcase on in your other carry-on. You can have two, a suitcase and a small personal case/laptop case.


If you are going on vacation, this is a good way to pack, but you may run into problems if you buy a lot of souvenirs. If you do get a lot than you can always just buy a separate bag to put all your new stuff into and check this one.

The faces that have worn me...

Halloween 2007: Peter Pan, Tinkerbell and Captain Hook

Halloween 2006: The Wicked Witch of the West and her Naughty Flying Monkey



Halloween 2005: Shrek

Halloween 2004: Batman & Robin

Halloween 2003: Boring 'ol Sailor

Halloween 2001: Cruella DeVille


I missed all the Halloweens while I was in the Navy, although they tell me that I was dressing up for Halloween, I was dressing up like a sailor... now go to work!! My last civilian costume was as a Witch and Warlock. Before I really learned how to dress up properly.

I have done drag exactly twice for my chorus: Singing "You're Timeless to Me" from Hairspray, My Edna Turnblad looked like Divine and Dolly Parton had a baby... not pretty. The other time was even worse. I was in scag drag playing the title role in the kd lang song "Big Boned Gal"... oh yeah, sat on a little old lady, a priest and a woman in a wheelchair during that song... oy gay!!!

Drinking with Crazy Horse

Puerto Vallarta

On vacation in Puerto Vallarta, some friends of mine decided to go on a booze cruise. Now I have done my fair share of drinking, but I have issues about drinking while the room itself is moving. However majority ruled and so we set out to find a good cruise that would suit everyone. We found one that included the cruise, the booze, a scuba lesson, lunch at a beach front restaurant and a horse ride to some local waterfalls.

The first stop on the cruise was the scuba lesson. Because of the oxygen mixture, scuba gear, and other such scientific explanations I didn’t quite get, we couldn’t drink until after the lesson. Now I have done my fair share of drinking, but unlike most of my friends, I was unable to maintain my composure after about two beers. I was never so relieved to pull my head out of a trash can as I was the moment I saw the boat pulling up to the restaurant.

After a very nice meal we all set off down the road with the other cruisers looking for the stables. My friends decided to walk to the falls. I however was going to get the full service tour. I paid for a horse ride and I was going to get one! That may have been the worst decision I made on that vacation. You see, I am not a small man. I stand six feet, five inches tall and weigh in at… well, let’s just say at the time I was around 230lbs. So the guy at the stables looks at me and then looks over all his horses. Finally he picks one out saddles it up and brings her over to me.


If it’s possible to see emotion in a horse’s eye, I saw it that day. Not only fear at the thought of having to bear me, but clear hatred for her master. Of course at that moment I was completely oblivious. I got right up on that horse and directed her toward the falls. With a little kick we were on our way, and the stable guy told me to hang on tight as we trotted away. He wasn’t kidding. He had given me the crazy horse, and she wanted me the hell off her back.

She dominated the trail to the falls by pushing other horses off the path. One of the other riders was knocked to the ground when his horse was shoved off the path. I was screaming WHOA! But she was having none of it. She was on a mission; she wanted me off. When we finally reached the falls, after a hundred apologies to other riders, I leapt off her and kissed the ground.

When I looked up I got this weird sense of Déjà vu. That was when I realized I had seen these waterfalls before. I had seen them when Arnold Schwarzenegger was jumping over them trying to get away from the “Predator”.

two tears in a bucket... mutha phuket

Phuket, Thailand... that is.

I was five minutes off the boat and there was a line of taxi’s waiting to take people into downtown Phuket. I hired a woman named Penny and her brother Aroon, who made their living as taxi driving tour guides. On a very tight budget, Penny and her brother managed to show me in five days more than I had ever expected.

While I was getting the locals tour of the island we drove by a beach that had a sailboat abandoned on it. I asked why it was there and Penny told me the story. The boat had belonged to a Russian man. He and his son had gone on a round the world trip only to be stranded when the old clunker broke down out to sea.

They had floated around the ocean with no food and very little water for several weeks until the Thailand coast guard found them and dragged the boat to land. They both made full recoveries and were released after a couple of weeks. They flew home leaving the abandoned boat on the beach, where it still remained months later when I took this picture.


While trekking through the countryside in search of a secluded empty beach I started to get a little hungry. Penny decided to stop at her parents’ house, where she got me some fried bananas and cracked open a coconut for me to drink. After making dinner plans for later that evening we continued our search and eventually found a beautiful deserted beach where they dropped me off for a few hours of relaxing and swimming in the eighty degree water.

My five days spent with Penny and Aroon made for an amazing adventure in a foreign land. They treated me so well I felt like family. From wake up calls and door to door service to taking me to their family home for an authentic Thai dinner, my time in Thailand was an amazing adventure. So far outside of the “tourist” trap of bars and beaches, I got to see the real Thailand, the people and the places of the everyday.