My misspent youth of folly; part 1

I came to understand what "gay" was pretty early on in life.

I remember having crushes on the boys in class as early as second grade. The only "first crush" that I can really remember to this day was a boy in my junior high school named Jake Crouch. He was on the wrestling team with my brother. I remember talking to him and both of us were so shy and quiet that it was amazing we got more than a few words out. Just when I thought I might be making my very first friend/crush the family moved away to California... I wrote him several letters, but I never heard from him again.

I was pretty lucky when it comes to the whole "gay" thing and my family. When I was three or four a therapist that my mom had taken me to, took her to the side and told her that he suspected that I might have homosexual tendencies and that he was going to work out a program for her to follow to try and dissuade me from becoming an active homosexual.

My mom looked at him with that look, and then she turned to me, playing with the toys on the floor and said "Shane, get your coat on sweetie, we're going to get some ice cream now." I of course was over joyed... I was three. The therapist tried to grasp what was going on, but my mom cut him short by saying "Thank you for your time, but we wont be returning. I love my son, just as he is, gay or not, and I wont expose him to you again. Good night." And out we went to the fabled 31 flavors, where I had my cone of pink bubblegum and was none the wiser.

So growing up, my parents always knew that I was gay. It wasnt a good/bad right/wrong fix/cure kind of conversation for them. It was an IS. Shane IS gay. Now, adjust our way of thinking so that we can be happy and raise him with love. Yeah... total hippies. Yes, we went to the John Lennon memorial at Red Rocks, yes, I remember it. Free from religion, yet still somehow learned all the moral lessons of life. Looking back, it was a pretty great way to grow up.

The "gay" issue never really was an issue for me in school early on because I changed schools so often. Following around the special ed program with my "emotional issues" meant that I had to go to a different school every year. I formed no childhood bonds. I had my family and my brother. Makes sense now that I always got along better with my mom and dads friends than anyone my age. It was who was around to talk to and learn from.