The Death of a King?

This is going to be a post of an unpopular opinion, be forewarned.

Today reports that Michael Jackson has died have surfaced on every news station available. I would feel sad about such news, except that Michael Jackson died for me many years ago.

Like many people, the album "Thriller" helped define my childhood. It was the first (and only) vinyl record that my brother ever bought. And we played that thing for what seemed like eternity. I still know all the words twenty years later. His "Bad" and "Dangerous" albums seemed to carry my thorough my teen years and fascinated me with amazing dancing and storytelling mini-movies. It wouldn't be unfair in saying that he helped me develop an appreciation for the visual art in music.

Then he lost it, and he lost me.

It was the one two punch of the child molesting charges (twice, mind you), and the inexplicable drive to physically dissect himself and create a monster with the voice of an angel. I stopped buying his music around the time of his 12th nose job/face lift. I just couldn't find any logic in giving money to a man who was only going to use it to hurt himself.

I am not opposed to plastic surgery in any way, but here was a clear case of a man who hated himself so much that he physically couldn't stand his own face for the majority of his adult life. What bothers me most about that is that no one stopped him. It was an obvious cry for help, and we did nothing but watch. Because he had money he was able to sidestep any and all concerns that his doctors had. He butchered himself and we bought it for $14.99 and some cellophane.

Then we have the child molestation charges. I don't know whether or not I think he was innocent. The logical side of me says that he did it. The child in me says he didn't. We may never know the truth, but here is what I do know. He consistently chose to put himself into situations where child molesting could occur. He chose to act like a child. He chose to have inappropriate relationships with children. No one forced him into a room alone with a child, those were his decisions, and while we may never know if he was guilty we can without a single doubt know that he was responsible for creating the situation.

The fact that he never saw anything wrong with that, well it just makes me think he was trying to hide something. And then it happened again. And that was it for me. After going through that horror trial the first time any innocent man would have taken care to avoid putting himself in the same situations again. So, there it is, I guess I do believe he was a child molester. He just had the money to get away with it.

Which brings me to my last point, his children. While it is horrible that they have lost their father, I sadly believe that with him gone, they may actually have a shot at a semi-normal life now. I never trusted him with them. From the moment he announced that he was having kids, I was afraid for them. He was just so mentally messed up from both his own childhood and from decades of people catering to him and bowing to his every whim that I felt any children exposed to him for long durations of time would be equally as messed up.

My secret theory about him is that his father Joe castrated him at a young age ensuring that the money making voice of an angel would never fade. While I have no proof or evidence for this theory the physical pieces seem to fit. Castrated boys voices never drop, like Micheal's. Castrated boys remain lithe and sinewy like a pre-teen for the rest of their lives due to the removal of the testies and the testosterone they provide. Castrated boys never learn how to fully operate sexually due to the obvious lack of parts. Castrated boys historically segregated themselves from the rest of the population and spent most of their time with other eunichs (ie: young boys who are not sexually developed). Again, this is simply my theory to explain how Michael Jackson could have come to be the man he was.

Regardless of all the problems he had, he was without question one of the most brilliant musicians of the last century. His voice, his rythms, and most of all his songs have spoken to each generation, and I have a feeling that they will continue speaking to generations for many years to come. So, I do feel sadness in his passing. Sadness at what could have been prevented, sadness at the loss of the music yet to come, but most of all I feel the sadness for the boy who wanted so desperatly to entertain us all and this tear is for that boy, who we lost many years ago.