Death Found You

In dark and silent whispers that I could not hear
Death found you lying in our bed and he pulled you near
An embrace that for so long, had been mine alone
Now belongs to another and my heart is stone

Many times I've wished for death lying in your arms
Nowhere else in my life so free and safe from harm
No comfort will I ever have in the decades past
All my words and all my love forever didn't last

I still wake from screaming, my voice is going numb
How much pain can I stand before I too succumb
No more chances will I have to sing you into sleep
And hold you tightly through the night in the dark'ning deep

I'm left here cold and crying in this lonely bed
Wishing it was me, not you, that had gone ahead
What twist of fate so cruel has robbed us of our chance
For one more moment, one more smile, one more quiet dance

My conclusion has been settled, yet I still remain
Reluctant to cast off this life like a prison chain
Soon I'll rise to find you on these redemptive wings
We will find our home here at the ending of all things

-Shane J. Kroll

(This is a poem I wrote for a friend of mine, Mary. She and her wife Jean had been married for almost thirty years. Mary has had a lot of health problems and so the two of them prepared all the paperwork should Mary pass on. It is very difficult for gay couples to take care of their loved ones near the end of life because of the state of our country.

Mary and Jean spent a lot of time preparing for the inevitable. But when the inevitable finally came... as is always the case... they weren't as prepared as they thought. You see, it was not Mary that died, it was Jean.

I cant begin to imagine what Mary had to go through... So I wrote this from her perspective.)