Porn Stars at the watering hole...

As some of you know I am good friends with a guy named Jason. The color of his eyes and the timber of his voice decides whether I am hanging out with Jason or with uber porn star Derrick Hanson. I can always rely on Jason to be the life of the party. He knows everyone... or at least everyone knows him. So anytime I am feeling social but don't want to put work into meeting people I go and hang out with Jason and somehow everyone seems to come to us.


Jason and I met at the famed Eagle Beer Bust several years ago. I think I was the one person in the bar that wasn't trying to molest or sleep with him, so naturally he clung to me. We both like to laugh, and we both love to surround ourselves with a touch of the absurd. In that vein Jason said it would be really funny if we played some drinking games at my place with some friends. I asked what kind of drinking game and this devilish look came over his eyes as he said we should play the porn drinking game.


Now I had never played the porn drinking game before and was not quite sure what was entailed in it. Up to this point in my life porn only had one purpose really. You all know what that is... but to Jason, Porn was a jumping off point and excellent conversation starter. So I called up a couple friends, Kenny and Channing, to come over and play this game with us. Jason brought a 24-pack of beer and a couple of porn's over. I didn't realize until he had loaded the dvd's into the machine that we were about to play drinking games to HIS porn!!!


This was a bit weird at the start for me. We were watching my friend have sex. Once I got over the initial shock of it, Kenny and Channing didn't seem to have any issue with it, I settled back with my beer ready to hear the rules. I am going to tell you the rules now so that should you want to, you can play the game at home whether or not you have your very own porn star to play with. So here goes...

Rule 1: Every time one of the actors gets close to giggling. If you rent some of Jason's earlier work you will get really trashed!!!

Rule 2: Whenever one of the actors looks at the other with the "What the fuck are you doing" look in their eye. My favorite example of this is in "Team Players" when Jason decides that the guy he is with is not as good at topping as he is. So Jason gives him the look and then lays the guy on his back and then Jason proceeds to do all the work.

Rule 3: When body parts fly toward the screen. Sometimes when Jason is the bottom he can lose track of where his toes are. I have seen more toes in his porn than in real life!!!

Rule 4: Pick an actor and figure out what his "Catch-Phrase" is. For Jason it is "Yeah, Fuckin take it". Whenever an actor says his "Catch-Phrase" you drink. An amendment to this rule is, if you cant figure out the catch-phrase you drink whenever the actor repeats the same line more than twice.

Rule 5: Drink whenever you see a loop. What that means is when the director needs to make the screen longer he will take the exact same action from two different camera angles and loop it to make it look like one much longer scene.

Rule 6: Drink whenever one of the actors looks at the camera. Again, Jason's amateur work you get some of this... but once he goes professional that kind of this stopped. But if you like amateur this rule will get you totally plastered.

Rule 7: I know this sounds gross... but drink whenever someone gets spit on. Happens more than you realize!!!

Rule 8: Drink if you recognize the location either from real life or from another movie. The most fun I had with this one was when I realized I was watching a scene filmed in Jason's parents house on their pool table.

Rule 9: At the climax, during the "Money Shot" drink once for every time they show it in repeat or slow motion after the fact. This is the most dangerous rule because some directors will put several repeats. And depending on how many people are in the scene, you could get seriously drunk!

Rule 10: Make sure you play this game with several other people. I have found that it is not quite as fun alone!!! And if at all possible you should try and have a porn star at your party.

Jason said he is more than willing to attend more porn parties!!!! If your lucky he will come dressed like this...