My misspent youth of Folly; part 2

The first time "gay" really became an issue was near the end of high school. I was pretty confident in my choice to accept homosexuality, and thanks to my parents I never looked at it being wrong. I did, however understand that being gay was not popular, and that it could be very dangerous around the wrong kind of people. I learned ways to hide it and mask it and use it to amuse all while skipping gaily around from school to school and therapist to therapist.

In my junior year I was hanging out with my neighbor Melissa in her spa with another girlfriend from drama class (Mariah?), when the ever wandering teenage minds led inevitably to the wonderful game of truth or dare... and yeah... it was my first truth... thanks Mellisa, you get the honor of being the first person I ever came out to. And (Maya?) your... uh... second.

My first crush that I ever came out to was a jock on the football team named Kevin Chapin. Oh god, even now, I think of him and that amazing square jaw, piercing eyes, a body that knew nothing of gravity and seemed to ripple with muscle as he bounced around. Yeah, I had it bad. I started getting to know him because I was (for some unexplainable teaching torture) the sports writer for the school paper. So I needed someone to explain what the rules were... and what you call that one thing... and whats with all the numbers your supposed to remember... bleh, football, I still dont get it.

Well during one of these phone call bull sessions it somehow came up that he had defended my heterosexuality to a couple of his team mates. Probably because I couldnt see his face I suddenly felt bold enough to say "thanks, that was decent of you man. But I am gay." I waited for what seemed like forever in my gay teen universe until he says "...oh yeah? You been cornholed yet?"

As any budding gay will tell you, we are nothing if not witty and quick on our feet... So my brilliant responce was "uhh.. yeah. well, um... actually yeah, I lost my virginity when I was twelve. To both the male and the female variety... no, not at the same time." He responded with a sentence that I have never forgotten because of how much it summed him and that entire friendship up "I'm not gay. I ask because I want you to know that my mind goes a lot further than my body ever will."

I saw him again at the 10 year reunion, he still had that spark. That little twinkle in his eye. He had gotten stocky and was a high school teacher in Flagstaff, Arizona. He married a beautiful and amazingly charming and conscience girl and they seemed happy. I wish him well and said lets keep in touch, but after two or three un-returned emails I gave up and chose to put that crush away.