A really good shampoo

I got home from work yesterday and was just blah… All I wanted was to sit on my couch and veg for the rest of the night. I turned on my Law & Order, got my Mt. Dew and wrapped myself in my flannel blanket. I stayed in that position for a solid three hours.

I have been feeling slightly off this week. Can’t really explain why or how I feel… but you know those times when there is something going on inside your body that you just aren’t too sure about? This was like that, I wasn’t feeling sick or anything and there was just this off-ness. Like when your body starts telling you to be a little more careful or you really will get sick. Or when your body has caught an infection and is busy destroying it, the rest of your body feel’s slightly neglected. That’s how I felt yesterday, not sick, just blah.

Somewhere in the vicinity of nine pm I make up my mind to take a shower. I had a long hard day of work and I wanted to get the grime off me. So I strip down in my room and get my robe on. This was one of those moments when I realized just how close to all out sick I was. Between the six feet of taking my clothes off and putting my robe on I got a severe case of the shaking chills. My teeth were rattling and I physically couldn’t stop myself from shaking. I walked out my room and turned the thermostat up to 74 and walked as quickly as my weak frame would carry me to the bathroom.

I should also mention at this point that while I have been feeling off I have had little to no desire to eat. For the last few days I have been forcing food down anyway, but yesterday I just couldn’t bring myself to eat. I had a donut in the morning for breakfast, and a banana for lunch and I skipped dinner altogether, all this on my most physically taxing day of the week, work wise.

I get to the bathroom and jump quickly into the shower. I turn the water on and get it to a good hot temp, than without really knowing why, I throw the bath plug into the drain. So I stand there under this steaming sheet of hot soothing water for a good ten minutes, just rotating making sure that every part of my body gets the heat and the warmth. I can’t explain the feeling of relief that comes with warmth.

When I finally open my eyes and look down, a considerable amount of water has collected in the tub. My legs feel so worn and weary that it makes total sense that I sit down right then and there. And so my hot shower becomes a hot bath, with the steam rising from below me and the warmth raining down on me. I take several slow deep breaths, coughing up some more of the phlegm that has taken up residence in my chest since Christmas. I take a few more breaths… until I can at last breathe without interruption.

While I am just sitting there like a quivering mass of flesh I decide to do something that I haven’t done is quite some time. I start examining my body. Closely, looking at all the things that I have noticed over the years, making sure they are all still there and that nothing new has shown up to say hi. I spent a good thirty minutes there in the silence of the bathroom, looking at every part of my body that I could see with the shower mirror. Taking the time to thoroughly clean every inch of me took some focus and therefore made me stop thinking about feeling off.

Don’t get me wrong, I shower daily, sometimes twice a day, but they are always those quick down and dirty navy showers: get in, get wet, get soapy, rinse, get out. We don’t always spend time on ourselves. Like I need to tell you that… you know.

So there I was completely clean, every inch of my body had been examined and scrubbed, and I still felt grimy and off. I couldn’t figure it out, so I stand back up, pull the plug out of the tub and turn the showerhead back on. Not very much hot water left, so I have to finish up quickly. I brush my teeth thinking maybe I still feel weird because there is film on my teeth or something. Nope. I turn so the showerhead is behind me and I put my head under the flow. Running my hands through my hair I then think maybe I should wash my hair. I get the shampoo and pour a dollop into my hand, spreading it evenly over both my hands. I then start massaging the shampoo into my scalp working up a rich thick lather. I also shampoo my beard, thinking it wouldn’t hurt. When I stick my head back under the showerhead I start to feel better. I rinse my face and my hair and run my hands through it again. Not quite there yet, so I grab the conditioner and repeat the lather getting my beard in the process. I stand still for a couple minutes letting the water sooth me and letting the conditioner take full effect.

As soon as I leaned my head back I felt it. That was it. That was what was making me feel grimy. I know it sounds cheesy and silly, but I really felt like those women on the shampoo commercials. I ran my hands through my soft, clean, radiant hair and I smiled. Seriously, I smiled like I was having an orgasm from a good shampoo. Ridiculous.

When I got out of the shower my chills were gone. The slight haze that had settled unconsciously over my vision was gone. I felt refreshed and focused. I don’t feel off anymore, and damn I am hungry. So I guess the point of the story is this, if you are feeling off take a good long hot bath/shower, spend a little time with yourself, and have a really good shampoo.